10 Random Poker Quotes

• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen