10 Random Poker Quotes

• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson