10 Random Poker Quotes

• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels