10 Random Poker Quotes

• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• "If you want to know what lies on the road ahead, ask the man whos on the way back" anon