10 Random Poker Quotes

• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• In order to live, you must be willing to die - Amir Vahedi
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.