10 Random Poker Quotes

• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!