10 Random Poker Quotes

• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• In order to live, you must be willing to die - Amir Vahedi