10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• in the poker game of life women are the rake
• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.