10 Random Poker Quotes

• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• "you either live by the river or die by the river" why do i always seem to die
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• it is true that you may fool all of the people some of the time: you can even fool some of the people all the time: but you can't fool al of the peole all the time. -Abraham Lincoln
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.
• "If i dont make that final table, nobody's gonna remember me next year. If i do make that final table, Im a poker legend overnight" - Dutch Boyd 2003 WSOP Main Event
• Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.