10 Random Poker Quotes

• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• A great poker player knows when he is playing poorly.
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.