10 Random Poker Quotes

• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• "All-in, bitches!!!"
• God is kind to the underdog! C.A.A
• Never educate a stupid poker player.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."