10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "I could make a crazy call on you..." Sammy Farhah to Chris Moneymaker at the final table when Moneymaker went all in.
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.