10 Random Poker Quotes

• Welcome to kicker school
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• Poker is like life, most people don't learn from their mistakes they only recognize them. C.Arel
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• "you got to know when to holdem, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"