10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• Acey Deucy Never Leucy --Phil Hellmuth