10 Random Poker Quotes

• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Acey Deucy Never Leucy --Phil Hellmuth
• Never educate a stupid poker player.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• "you got to know when to holdem, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."