10 Random Poker Quotes

• "If you want to know what lies on the road ahead, ask the man whos on the way back" anon
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• Someone on here said that "poker is for fat American losers". That sounds a lot like the ramblings of a foriegn homosexual who's busy scratching a broke ass.
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers