10 Random Poker Quotes

• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• "Poker is 100% skill, 50% luck" - Phil Hellmuth
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986