10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• Overhead at a ring game during a tournament when people where discussing there bad beat knock outs etc "Ya I got knocked out of both tournies the same way....I got caught Bluffing"
• You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen that before, and ...."
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Where's the buffet? -Doyle Brunson
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"