10 Random Poker Quotes

• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.