10 Random Poker Quotes

• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"
• "It's hard work. Gambling. Playing poker. Don't let anyone tell you different. Think about what it's like sitting at a poker table with people whose only goal is to cut your throat, take your money, and leave you out back talking to yourself about what went wrong inside. That probably sounds harsh. But that's the way it is at the poker table. If you don't believe me, then you're the lamb that's going off to the slaughter." Stu Unger, three-time WSOP Champion
• Concentrate. Don't do anything stupid. Catch some cards. ----Mrs. Cloutier, as TJ heads out to another tournament
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• People who play poker often wear raw hide.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.