10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• The next best thing to playing and winning is playing and losing. --Nick the Greek
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen