10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• "you either live by the river or die by the river" why do i always seem to die
• I guess if luck wasn't involved, i'd win every tournament -Phil Helmuth
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• Fook the floosh droo!