10 Random Poker Quotes

• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.