10 Random Poker Quotes

• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Overhead at a ring game during a tournament when people where discussing there bad beat knock outs etc "Ya I got knocked out of both tournies the same way....I got caught Bluffing"
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.
• "Why do you think the same five guys make it to the final table of the World Series of Poker EVERY YEAR? What, are they the luckiest guys in Las Vegas?" - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)