10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• " The commonest mistake in history is underestimating your opponent; happens at the poker table all the time."
• The only thing you lose by folding is the opportunity to win.
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.