10 Random Poker Quotes

• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• "you either live by the river or die by the river" why do i always seem to die
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• If you can't spot the sucker at the table, guess what..