10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• The all-in play works everytime but once.
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• The greatest feeling is when you've broken your opponent's spirit & crushed his confidence. The fact that you've taken both his bankroll & the shirt off his back is just a bonus. Tom V. (Livonia, Michigan)
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."