10 Random Poker Quotes

• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---