10 Random Poker Quotes

• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss
• If you can't spot the sucker at the table, guess what..
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.