10 Random Poker Quotes

• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• If you could lose all of your money again... what would you have done differently?
• Kiddie games down the street! -- mike matusow
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• Darwin takes a toll on the worst poker players because they lose money, Darwin takes a toll on average poker players because they don't make money and they will never be a great poker players, Darwin takes the greatest toll though, on the greatest poker players, because they could be doing something greater.
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.