10 Random Poker Quotes

• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "you either live by the river or die by the river" why do i always seem to die
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• "I'm broke one day and have a fortune the next day, and I don't give a damn" --Jack "Treetop" Straus--