10 Random Poker Quotes

• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• Fook the floosh droo!
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe