10 Random Poker Quotes

• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• If there was no luck involved I'd win every time. - Phil Hellmuth
• in the poker game of life women are the rake
• To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Please screen your these quotes, most of the crap people submit here don't classify as poker quotes at all, they just express how badly those persons misunderstand the game of poker or how proud they are that they understand elemntry concepts such as "counting outs" or "pot odds", no one cares jerks