10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.
• When you win... Rub it in!!! When you lose.. Drink the booze!!!!! Los Altos Dirt Bikers
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• Fook the floosh droo!
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• After taking a beat: "How bad do they play?...This is the World Series of Poker!" -Phil Hellmuth Jr.