10 Random Poker Quotes
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More Random Quotes- Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with.
Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
- Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
- Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
- Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand.
One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
- I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
- "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck
exactly 9 times the cards will return
to its original position as it were
prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
- Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
- Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
- If there was no luck involved I'd win every time. - Phil Hellmuth
- Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.