10 Random Poker Quotes

• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• "If you want to know what lies on the road ahead, ask the man whos on the way back" anon
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• Seldom do the lambs slaughter the butcher. -Amarillo Slim
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.