10 Random Poker Quotes

• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.