10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.
• I'm too good for you, you might as well flip those 2 cards over.
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• "I guess if there weren't luck involved, I'd win every time." -Phil Hellmuth
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• it is true that you may fool all of the people some of the time: you can even fool some of the people all the time: but you can't fool al of the peole all the time. -Abraham Lincoln
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.