10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• Nobody would play the game if the best hand always won. -Will Schwarz
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."