10 Random Poker Quotes

• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Ive always like the quote, "Who needs balls when you got the nuts!!!"
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.