10 Random Poker Quotes

• in the poker game of life women are the rake
• Those eggs smell delicious!
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen that before, and ...."
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
• I suck, therefore I suck out. North Shore Mike