10 Random Poker Quotes

• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "You will show your poker greatness by the hands you fold, not the hands you play." -Dan Reed
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Overhead at a ring game during a tournament when people where discussing there bad beat knock outs etc "Ya I got knocked out of both tournies the same way....I got caught Bluffing"
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• Welcome to kicker school
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.