10 Random Poker Quotes

• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• This above all else: To thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare
• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• The only way to win is to play. Unfortunetly, it is also the only way to loose.
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"