10 Random Poker Quotes

• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• "Why do you think the same five guys make it to the final table of the World Series of Poker EVERY YEAR? What, are they the luckiest guys in Las Vegas?" - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "All-in, bitches!!!"
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.