10 Random Poker Quotes

• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.