10 Random Poker Quotes

• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• Those eggs smell delicious!
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."