10 Random Poker Quotes

• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• Why not, when some because there are three.
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.