10 Random Poker Quotes

• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• In the game of life, women are the rake. - Worm
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.