10 Random Poker Quotes

• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• You can't let it get you down when somebody knocks you out of a tournament playing a hand they shouldn't have played. Without these types of players, nobody would win any amount of money, so sometimes you just have to take your medicine. - T.J. Cloutier, Championship Omaha
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.