10 Random Poker Quotes

• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• "I could make a crazy call on you..." Sammy Farhah to Chris Moneymaker at the final table when Moneymaker went all in.
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Ive always like the quote, "Who needs balls when you got the nuts!!!"
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.